


Worn out journal

by littlebrownwolf



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anxiety, Diary/Journal, Multi, Non-Linear Narrative, Possibly depression, Time Loop, Time Travel, ahahah why am I doing this, non-canon, or maybe canon divergence, welp here goes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-10-21 10:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10683579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebrownwolf/pseuds/littlebrownwolf
Summary: Journal entries of Lyhra Lavellan who has found herself reliving the events in a seemingly infinite loop. Even as she remains free to choose what to do, no one remembers.





	1. Cycle 6

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for this fandom and still a bit of catching up/refreshing to do on dates and such. Lyhra is a bit fleshed out in my head but maybe this will help solidify her for future fics.  
> 

9:41 Dragon | While they're at the Val Royeaux

Haven... There are quite a few places here where the scouts skip.  
It's convenient and... exploitable, perhaps best keep it this way.

My connection to the fade is growing... I can feel it... but why is it happening?

 

9:41 Dragon | Before Redcliffe

Managed to find Wisdom in the Fade.  
Sadly, they were conversing so I had to leave...  
but not after staring from afar...  
could almost swear that she was keeping him from seeing me.

She couldn't possibly remember... could she?

 

9:41 Dragon | Storm Coast

That was _close_. _Real close_.  
Maybe there's another way to seal these holes from Darkspawn.  
It never occurred to me before that they could just bash through a makeshift seal.

Creators... why is this sinking in now?

 

9:41 Dragon | Tarasyl'an te'las

**SHIT.**  
_____

Okay never mind... so far going ahead of them to Skyhold is alright...  
I mean... look at all this rubble.  
_____

There is no news of Haven falling but then again I am alone here...

I believe those are Nightingale's spies... when did they find the shortcut again..?

 

9:41 Dragon | Tarasyl'an te'las

Apparently... you appear to be a blank journal... mostly just doodles...  
does this mean you're magic?  
Like, anything I write is readable to  me?  
or... can another mage disenchant or dispel it?

That is both wonderful and worrisome.

_____  
Ps. I found out because Nightingale and her crew were able to catch me camping when they approached Skyhold.

 


	2. Cycle 2 - I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are back to how they began but not quite... is this all real? a nightmare? or a cruel joke?

9:41 Dragon | 3 days before Conclave 

What’s going on?  
Where did this journal come from? Should I even be writing on this?

Creators… Where am I?  
What happened?

I remember Solas… Solas is ~~Fen’Harel~~!

_Fenedhis..._ wait...  
I need to codify this… maybe writing in ~~elvhen~~ is better?

 

9:41 Dragon | Day before Conclave 

So apparently tomorrow is the conclave… what is going on…

Should I go find Solas?  
Should I look for Cass?

**No**...

She and Lelia will find it suspicious...  
Maybe this is the fade...  
tricking me after all the _frigid_ stress involved with dealing with _Vhenan_ and then that **INFURIATING**...

...calm I am calm...

 -----

Relaxing at that spa did not help... it just made me think about all the shit even more...  
plus some self-loathing and other things.

It was nice of Viv to take me there though... it _did_ calm me, even if only a little.

\-----

I should check my things...  
See if I can ride out this fade-dream... thing.

\-----

If I sleep here would I wake up?

 

9:41 Dragon | After Conclave explosion 

**FENEDHIS LASA!**

Everything is **WRONG!**  
How could I not _wake up_ from the explosion?!  
**WHY DID I NOT WAKE FOR THREE DAYS?!**

I _need_ to see who has the mark... maybe I can help them get through to the place.  
I need to find them... or just watch over them...

Yeah... there should be no need to interact with  _any_ of them.

 

9:41 Dragon | After first attempt... day/night one 

Creators...  
It's _Nehnris_...  
The person who has the anchor is **_Nehnris_**...

**Lethallin why were you here?!  
** You were _supposed to stay_ with Clan Lavellan...

Creators...  
_You_ are our _First_...  
_I_ am here so _you_  didn't have to.

No matter... I will stay beside him...  
Help Adan and Solas heal him... keep him alive...

Please, _wake up_.

-tear stains pepper the bottom of the page-

 

9:41 Dragon | Day 2

Creators please don't let him _die_...

He is our _First_.  
He is the Dragon of Clan Lavellan.  
He is my _Friend_... my _Brother_... my _Family_.

_Please... **PLEASE...**_

 

9:41 Dragon | Day 3 

He is awake.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nehnris and Lyhra are not related but have a bond like that of siblings.  
> The two of them being the oddballs of the clan.
> 
> If you find anything odd please don't hesitate to ask! or if you're just curious about them :)
> 
> Thank you for reading~ Hope you enjoyed it~


	3. Cycle 2 - II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a sinking feeling this is real. That this is no dream or fabrication of a demon. But it can't be... it can't.

9:41 Dragon | Hinterlands 

This war between Mages and Templars... have I ever said/written how tiring it is?  
How heavy it makes the atmosphere?

**Blood**.  
Both fresh and dry splattered, oozing, and clinging on any surface it touches.  
Brilliant hues of red.

**Bodies**.  
Flesh left in different stages of decay.  
Corpses of the innocent thrown along with those of the warring sides.

Corpses _everywhere_. Piled for a pyre few can mourn.

**Fear**. **Hate**. **Despair**.  
No... I won't even start on that.

We'll be reaching the crossroads in two days at most.

\-----

Nehnris pulled me in -not that I mind- on his magic lessons/discussions/training with Solas.  
I believe he takes my reluctance as caution... he isn't wrong.  
Not really.

After all... it felt like only weeks ago that:  
The Inquisition was _disbanded_ ,  
The anchor _and_ my arm _removed_ ,  
and Vhenan explained he is the _He who hunts alone_.

That he walks the _Din'an Shiral._  
That blasted _orb_ was _HIS._

**Oh**! and The Veil is _GOING DOWN_!

**FOR THE LIFE OF!!!!!!**

My Heart... My Dear...  
You are frustrating.

**\-----**

Cass has been pleasant.  
So long as the topic doesn't go too deep into beliefs, or difference of such.  
Not sure I'll _ever_ be able to talk about beliefs in the light of what we discovered... before all of this.

She remains generally the same as when we first met.

Varric and I were off hunting for dinner, and stupidly brought up how Hawke was doing.  
Not quite sure he was convince it was because of his book. Gotta be careful.

Nehnris is both fascinated and apprehensive of the vast information Solas has.  
It's helping him understand things. a bit more open to certain topics but the two of them tend to get into arguments, which is why I am there.  
I only realized this as they got into a particularly heated debate on how to make a sturdier barrier and possibly adding other properties.  
What's wonderful is that they would turn to me, someone not well learned in magic, for an opinion.

Everyday is becoming evermore _real_.  
If this really _is_ the fade; by the creators please stop.

 

||Crossroads||

It hurts to be here... skirting around the symphony of lamentations.

**Prayers** , fervently raised at all times, mixing with the bustle of soldiers.  
The sound of metal and wood clashing.

Help we will. Help we shall.

I could only stand beside Nehn to support him.  
He isn't fragile, no, far from it.  
He is our First, but for me he's my kin.

Even if all is needed is me to support him in the face of this then that is fine.  
Even Dragons need to rest too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter woo!
> 
> Sorry for the wait~ been feeling ill for the last few weeks :(  
> would you all rather a longer chapter next time?  
> who would you like to see her to write about?  
> what would you like to see? what do you think?
> 
> Thank you for reading~  
> Leave a comment if you want to ask anything~  
> Have a good day~


	4. Cycle 89

9:43 Dragon | Unknown Location

Vhenan... Solas... Fen'Harel...  
Vhenan... Solas... Fen'Harel...  
Vhenan... Solas... Fen'Harel...

Solas... Fen'Harel... Solas... Vhenan... Fen'Harel?

Fenedhis...  
Fenedhis Lasa...

Fen~ Fen~ Fen~ Fen'Harel...

 

9:43 Dragon | Arbor Wilds

It occurred to me that I never requested him to moan "Elvhen Glory."

That would probably be hilarious... convincing him would be a challenge though...  
but maybe it can be done?

not in this cycle though...  
I'm not with the Inquisition after all.

\-----

I wonder _how_ or _why_ the Arbor Wilds are so... preserved?  
is that the right term?

A bit overgrown with other things compared to when Elvhenan was around.

Is there something here, apart from that it was steeped with Lady Mythal's magic?

Hmm... Best move on soon.

\-----

*sigh* _Creators_... I am exhausted...

\-----

I... literally owe Abelas so much...  
well.. we did exchange information (shocking i know)  
so they're more aware of things outside and beyond the Wilds.

Hunting stuff and storing them...

Doesn't change the fact that Abelas has been good to me while I'm here.  
It's kinda odd... am not quite sure what to make of it.

**Author's Note:**

> May or may not add in the years or dates in the future...  
> Hope you liked it :D  
> Cycle - how she keeps up with how many times Time has looped.


End file.
